Caleb's Evaluation Results

Yesterday, the day he had his eval, I was too emotional to write a blog detailing it. Yes, I know what my previous blog said. And I hate to say it, but I wasn't as equipped to hear the news I heard as I thought. I KNOW God has a plan for Caleb. I KNOW He is in control. I KNOW that he will answer my prayers... But nothing is harder to hear for a mother than, "Your son is severely delayed and cannot hear correctly."

At the appointment, they did several tests. First, they tested his vision. He has sensory issues, so she wasn't able to complete the tests (because he wouldn't let her touch him, AT ALL.) But from the testing she was able to gather, he has 20/20 vision. She is curious if he is able to bring his eyes together, which he will need to do in order to read.

They then tested his ears. He wasn't comfortable with her testing the vibrations in his ear right off the bat, so he and I went into a sound boothe, where she tested his connection with listening to different speakers and looking at them. He did famously in that test... However, when she was able to "tickle" his ear with a vibration, she was immediately concerned. She showed me on the screen how his left ear is normal. A vibration would travel to his eardrum and come back, making a "peak" line. She then showed me the left ear, which had a dead end. She wrote a referral to his primary to have him check what's causing him not to hear in the ear. She couldn't tell if he couldn't hear at all, if it were impaired, or what the issue was. He sees his pediatrician on Nov. 9th to see what is going on.

Then, they tested his speech/language/fine/gross motor skills. Gross motor skills are right on track. However, he struggled to pass all the other tests... the mod often looked at me and asked me, "is this normal for him?" and for the most part, it was. She was concerned about his fingers not being able to hold the crayon correctly. That he wasn't able to stack blocks, and his speech is very unclear and she doesn't believe his vocabulary is where it should be. Walking out the office, I was so proud of him. He did so well, was very well behaved and all the girls in the office mentioned how beautiful his blue eyes and dimples are. He impressed the mod when he was able to walk down stairs very well, as well as hop on one foot.

It wasn't until I got home, that I began to torture myself with the "what did I do wrongs"... I couldnt help it. I didn't FORGET that God made Caleb in His image. I didn't FORGET that God has a special plan for him... I just, couldn't NOT blame myself for this. I guess it is motherly instinct to want to give everything you have to your children... and when it seems that isn't enough, you begin to question WHY...

However, after crying, accepting, and believing that all this is hopefully a big blessing for my sweet Caleb... I am actually praying he gets into the program so he can have a dedicated and trained team helping him with whatever he needs help with. He goes back Nov. 17th, (the day before my birthday) to have a more in depth evaluation to see if he qualifies for the program.

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for our Caleb. We know that you hear our prayers... and we want to pray that you provide the means neccesary to help Caleb with his hearing, speech, language and motor skills issues. We pray that you lay your mighty hand on Caleb's future... so he may overcome these obstacles on his young age. We know that we are so blessed to have a healthy, HAPPY, little boy, and we have only You to thank for that. We know you made Caleb special, gave him specially to US, and we know you are capable of ALL things, Father. I pray you keep my eyes on You always, to give me perspective and humbling...
In Jesus Christ's Name,
Amen.

Caleb's Evaluation

Today, I had a beautiful morning with my husband. Grocery shopping.. Then I finished re-arranging the kids' rooms. Finished Caleb's, and organized the girls' now that we've separated the bunk beds so it wouldn't look so... Military.

Put the kiddos down for a nap, cleaned, did my Motivated Moms thing, and then we headed to Alexxa's school for her girl scouts meeting. I'm a assistant troop leader for the main troop leader. We've got 4 girls in our group (small but hoping to grow!), and Alexxa positively adores it. We only meet 2 times a month, and once outside of the meeting. But she looks forward to it so much and I love the values she is learning with a group of like-minded peers and parents. Caleb and Lily also think they are "honorary Daisy's," and they do most of the same activities, excluding a few that are just for the troop. They'll have their own troops some day! :) But right now, it's Alexxa's turn to shine! Today, she earned her first badge! And her troop leader was so sweet and gave all the girls a "Welcome" badge. She was VERY proud! Which in turn made me very, very proud!


Tomorrow, Caleb goes in to an early learning center to have his evaluation done. From a very early age, he's had delays here and there. First, it wasn't smiling until he was 6 months, then laughing... then pulling up, then speaking, as well as cringing if anyone touched him but me or Brian. Later, he seemed to be lagging in his speech. Friends of mine with 3 year olds seemed to be so much more advanced than him... and I would give him excuses... until I finally had to accept it and just decide what needs to be done. Functionally, his doctor is confident he's progressing normally. He was born 3 weeks early, and they've all been minor delays. But it got to a point where I felt like I was speaking for him. Even Brian couldn't understand him, and I began to feel like his interpretor, since he was using a lot of "code words" for things. I decided to ask his doctor what the next steps should be when Lily was starting to speak clearer than him.

Fast forward a month and a half... He seems to be doing LEAPS AND BOUNDS better. He's talking so much more and I really feel like he's handling things much better and less... what's the word? Meltdown-y? :) But I still would like to have him tested just to rule out anything and for peace of mind.

He will be tested in his Speech, Language, Motor, Behavior/Social-Emotional, and Cognitive Skills. "Severe" delays in any 2 of those will become eligible for Special Services Preschool Program. Although I'm fully expecting him to not qualify, it's such a blessing to know I will have a support system in place to help him get the help and learning he will need.

Two months ago, I was a hysterical mess. As much as I know that God is in control of EVERYTHING, it was a hard pill to swallow that something might be "wrong" with my precious boy. I prayed and prayed that no matter what, I remember that God's Will far surpasses any of mine, and learning to "die to self" and what I want for him is just what I had to do.

So! All in all, I will be in complete peace knowing that the results for my sensitive, sweet, caring, little man will be all in God's plan for his life, no matter what they are.

Heavenly Father,
I pray that you will give me strength to accept any news, good or bad, at any point in my life. Today, tomorrow and always. Knowing that I can rely on You, solely, to give me peace. I pray that you will put your hand on my Caleb, everyday. Let him grow to be a man in Christ. Lead him to you so he will never be astray. Comfort him. Guide him, as his Heavenly father. I pray you'll keep my eyes on you, always, and I praise you for the blessings my children are, that you've bestowed upon me.
In you Glorious Son's Name,
Jesus Christ,
Amen.

God's Purpose For My Life.

For the last year, I've dedicated a lot of prayer to God, asking him to make my ministry need/purpose/His Will for me be abundantly clear.

I prayed... and waited... prayed... and waited...

Until one day, when I was driving, it was clear to me.

Motherhood.

That was His Will for me right now. As much as I'd love to sell everything, pack up the kids and Brian and move to Mongolia like the amazing Perdo Family, I know that's not it for me... yet anyway.

So I was driving. And it was like an epiphany hit me. Like a brick wall. My Godly duty is to have a Evangelical, Missionary, Gospel preaching relationship with my most captive audience! You guessed it... Alexxa, Caleb and Lily.

I feel as though God is doing a work in my through discipeling to my children. Every week, as I prepare our homeschooling lessons in a particular story of the Bible, *I* get convicted and learn so much as well... not to mention, I get the blessing of seeing and hearing the Holy Spirit work it's way in my little innocent children's minds and thought processes. There's something so heartwarming and incredible to hear Alexxa (not knowing I'm listening) doing a puppet show for Caleb and Lily, and in her puppet show she is teaching a lesson... something like, "Mr. Frog hit Mrs. Bear... and she was sad... so she told him, 'The Bible says, 'Obey God, in Acts 5:29. And God says not to hurt or hit.' So Mr. Frog said he was sorry to Mrs. Bear." It's something as simple as a puppet show than have pure joy consume me, and I feel like God is saying to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" Mat 25:23, for instilling this core idea through our lessons.

My goal for this blog (life permitting), is to document our adventures as a Christian family... my personal interactions with such blessings of mine, learning and thriving and computing what and who God, Jesus, and The Holy Spirit are and why its important to know.

So here's to trying to keep up with my blog!!

I'd like to finish each blog with a prayer...

Heavenly Father,
I pray that you will continue to lead me with your desire for my life, and continue to make it clear to me so that I can lead my life in a way fitting for a daughter of the King of Kings.
I pray for my children, that they continue to thrive in a learning atmosphere centered around the Bible. That they continue to be healthy and interested in living a life for you, Father.
I pray for my husband, that he continues to have a heart to seek you and be the Spiritual Leader for our family.
In Your Son's Name,
Jesus Christ,
Amen.

Where have I BEEN!?!

Yeeeeash...

DeAnna is starting to blog.. and I was like.. Blog... hmm... what happened to mine!?

I guess in the busy-ness of Lexx starting Kindergarten, moving closer to her so we can have her more, beginning to homeschool the little kids, ETC.. The good ol' blog has fallen to the wayside!!

Well.. Fear not my friends! :) I will TRY to keep up with it more! I have an idea of what direction I'd like this blog to take... so! Inspiration lead.. I will follow!